IRA/BENEVOLENTIA

Daydreamer

A perpetual sadness
Slowly madness
creeping
I’m not sleeping
dreaming, seeming
only to observe my life
And not take part.  
But I can’t see it all
Be it all
Free fall
to the ground
down
from clouds I never rested on.
Best move on
I would if I could.  

Expose

I want to expose my brain
And let the madness spill out
to drown the world around me
In an ocean of feverish mania. 

Pull back my skin
of all day frowns
or constant smiles
And see both
hell-fire and absolute-zero
Violent heat and the frigid cold
Surging through my body
Like my bones belong to it.
And I am but a host
for every feeling and no feeling
All wrapped in human flesh. 

Tyrant

I want to be a smiling god
A madly-staring figure
Tearing apart creation. 

I want to be the rumored Nero
with his rumored lyre 
As the world is burning
I hear the music only.

I want to be moved by nothing
But by my own will.
I am hungry for power.
I am starving for chaos.

I want to end
Like a legend.
Crucify me on a symbol of peace.
Burn my image in a green meadow
And speak my name no more.

I want to be timeless.
I want to know and not be known.
But all who see me tremble.

It is better to be feared
Than to be loved.
Humans forget love
but fear can be a scar,
an ugly mark upon their memory.  

Captain

He tied himself to the wheel
in a drunken, disillusioned rage.

He can’t tell whether the water is from
the rain in the storm 
Or the waves crashing,
rocking his old ship
in whatever vast sea
he’s sailed himself into.

He dares the storm to gaze into his eyes.
See my wild! He shouts.
See my fury! My laughter! My glee!
Look into my sorrow and my hatred!
Stare into my mad mind!
My ship is rocking! My world is a flood.
And you’re not the captain.